Hey Mister... Let's Ride To The Edge This Time...

I can't believe that so much has happened that I haven't been able to keep up with almost any form of journaling. Not only have I seemed to give up on the one thing that helps any aspect of my life get sorted out, I have given up on becoming a writer. I guess I shouldn't really go that far as to say, "given up," but I will say that I have taken no steps toward that ambition...If anything, I have taken steps back by not writing almost at all since October of last year. I feel like I should be summing up the events that have occurred since I have last blogged, so here goes.



October 23rd, 2008 - After a long battle against Cancer, my grandmother, Nannie, lost. It had only been a week since she was admitted to the Palliative Care unit. Of course, most of the family began to blame the hospital for her death. She was slipping before being admitted, seemingly was getting better, and then headed downhill for a terrible crash. I don't believe it was the hospitals fault. She passed shortly after all of us left her side to get some rest. It was as if she knew that it was her time and didn't want her family there to witness it. She is at peace. Anyone that knows me, knows what my beliefs are on religion, but I do believe my Nannie watches over me.

I guess after that happened I was pretty much in shock. I miss her a lot. It has been hard getting through it all, but I think mom and I are getting along way better now, I think she finally realizes that we aren't here forever and you need to make the best of the time you have with your loved ones. I met, Alichia. Who is now my roommate. I moved out in February of this year. I don't get as much down time to write anymore, which is why I haven't. I guess I need to start making more time for that. I need it.

I have been single. Haha... I don't meet many people.
Anyway. I did meet someone. He lives right beside us.. I like him a lot, but I'm not sure if and where things are even going to go. I guess I have to stay realistic though, and not get my hopes up or else I'll get hurt like I usually do. I can't help liking him, though. It's crazy. I spend almost everynight there. I've been thinking about moving away a lot lately, like, far away, like Toronto, but everytime I think about it the only thing I keep telling myself I need to stay here for is him and I'm not even with him. I can't base any decisions on that yet, though, I need to see how the summer goes, and talk to my mom first.

It is late, though, I will try to keep updated as much as I can.

1 and 1 make 2, 2 and 1 make 3.

My vacation was wonderful.
I left about a month after my last post, and got back almost 2 weeks ago now. I am really slack when it comes to keeping things updated. Since the last post, my kitty passed away. He was my favourite thing in the world. I always loved when he purred and rubbed his face against mine. He was, esentially, my bestfriend. He'd always be there to listen, even though he couldn't respond. Death, however, is a part of life and I had to accept it was his time to go. It's still sad when I think about it, but he had a long and good life with us. We miss him.

I went to Toronto, on the 19th of September. I was supposed to come home on the 29th, but my plane was cancelled due to some huge hurricane that Saint John was supposed to get hit by, but never actually got any of haha. I'm definitely not complaining though, because that just meant three more days without work or the crap that Saint John houses. While I was there a couple of my favourite outings included, going to the mall (their mall is massive compared to ours), going to see Cryptopsy and Norther ( my new favourite band), going to the zoo, Wonderland, walking around downtown and getting to ride all the different types of transportation. Not to mention, it was my first time being on a plane, too!

Anyway, for now I believe I might go watch some of my favourite show - Dexter. My god, it's amazing haha.

I was meant for chasing dreams.

I think it's time for a vacation. I don't mean one of those 3 day weekend things, I mean... Toronto for a week or two. Yeah. I think that will work out nicely. I was talking with my Godmother and she says that plane tickets aren't that expensive either so I could afford it if I saved up for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I had a good day off, didn't do anything, but it was nice to be able to sit around and not do anything. I'd be at work right now if it were a normal day. I'm back in on Thursday night right until Sunday night a again. Great. Good tips though and on that shift, that's what is important.

Josh is coming down soon, I do believe. Should be fun. Other than that I guess there really isn't anything else going on.

Music : Prodigy - Firestarter.

Seasons Change, But People Don't

Well it has been well over a month, and I suppose a lot hasn't really happened, but at the same time - I guess a lot has.

Reason why it has been so long since my last post is because I was basically shunned from the world and blocked via password off of the computer. I guess it was because I wasn't helping out around the house or some shit like that. Mom, Nannie, and Rick hadn't been talking to me since before I graduated, so I wasn't sure what was going on at all.

I guess some highlights of the summer so far have included :
1. Working. That isn't really a highlight perse, but I have been doing a lot of it so it has to go in the list somewhere. Since it is probably what I have done the most of, it's number 1. I just gained full time hours and have started working the graveyard shift, which really isn't so bad. I get a lot more tips than on a normal shift and I get to just hang around.

2. Parties. Not so much anymore because of an unfortunate event, but I made it out to a few and had a good time when applicable. More notably, I would have to say Nathan's annual get together was pretty darn fun. Sucks that we don't get to hang out so much anymore, ( The whole crew ), so when there is something like that it always ends up good.

3. Movies/Mall time. I have gone to quite a few movies, one of which I went to with Nate, Shanna, Josh and Creature. Josh was here for a week or so before Nate's party, so we hung out a bunch, which brought back old memories. Creature and I chilled a bunch over the course of the summer.

4. Misc. This includes the random hangouts with people, going to Arby's for the first time, sleeping in late almost everyday, watching Whose Line? every night ( which isn't on tv anymore), making new friends and spending time with them, seeing old friends, going shopping and most importantly rehearsing for and performing Bang Bang, You're Dead! again at the Imperial Theatre with Theatre on the Edge's Boundry Breaking Youth Theatre. What an amazing feeling it was to get to do it again. We haven't had the cast party yet, but I know that will make the list, too.

I guess that about sums up what has gone down... not much.

Steam Machine.

What a lazy Sunday it has been.
I watched a movie, ate a lot of chocolate and made my cat mad. I guess it was spent in the best way possible.

I hope the first week of summer isn't as boring as today was. I should be having some mad hangouts with several people since I have 4 days off.


I have been listening to Daft Punk almost non-stop. Reminds me of Greg. He's amazing. I still regret ever breaking up with him all those years ago. I was young, I didn't know what love was, but now that I do.. I think I probably loved him. If there is anyone I want to make sure that I stay in touch with in the coming years, it would be him. He has helped me through more than any normal friend helps another friend through. He doesn't know how much I appreciate everything he has done for me. I need to find a way to tell him.

<3

Daft Punk - Around The World / Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

I have received a high school education.

So, I graduated last night. June 20 was the beginning of the rest of my life and the ending of a chapter I wish I could rewrite and edit several times over before calling it a finished product, but since I can't do that I guess I will just have to publish it anyway and hope that someone reads it someday. I know that I can't go back and change anything that I did, or didn't do, so I am going to sit around and ponder what I did and thing about the pros, cons, consequences and rewards I received.

I guess you could say it's over. I won't ever see half of the people that I spend my high school years with. On one side of the coin that is a huge relief. I can't even believe that I hung out with some of the people I did, or that I even called them friends. But like anything, there is another angle, and I know I will miss those friends that I had that were real friends. I suppose if they are just that, I will stay in touch with them, but upon Graduation everyone says, " Oh, we'll stay in touch. We'll hang out lots in the summer. I'll call you. " (We all know that never happens.) I guess we're all heading for bigger and better things. At least I hope that's what happens after high school.

Last night was 3 hours of torture, an hour of helplessness and 6 hours of all-night fun. The ceremony was long, tiring and hot. The reception that followed would have been wonderful had my family showed up to it. If anyone reading this knew what my family was like, they would understand. To any onlookers that would seem like a very mean and thoughtless thing to do, and it was.... but of course, like any situation it is the teenager that is at fault, so it is all my doing that created a bad night for myself. Safe grad ensued after the reception, and after a little bit of crying I got over it and had a great time. We went to see a screening of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and then bowling. Amazing night.

Anyway, for now I am going to go make a card for my good friend Leighsal. She deserves a nice one. :)

Learn To Fly.

Hello - I figured while I was sitting around eating pizza I might as well post a new blog, in greater detail than those preceeding this post. Anyway - as mentioned, I graduate on Friday, which is really hard to grasp. Seems like, the time went by way too fast and I'm not ready to grow up yet. Prom is on Tuesday and after weeks of going back and forth on if I'd be going or not, I decided on yes and I found a date. My good friend Joe is being kind enough to take me :).

I have also decided that this summer will be like none before it. I don't care if I'm out all the time with friends, working, reading a book in the shade, or just taking a walk alone with my ipod - I just want to make it mean more to me. I have been reading a book called "Tuesdays With Morrie" and it is inspiring me to make the most out of ordinary things... Not material things, but nature, and just the joy of being here. Moreover, it's the summer before I head to University. It has to be good.

Ahh well, I have exhusted myself quickly.
Lovex - Anyone Anymore.